News of the Not Necessarily Normal

An unnamed Danish man traveled to Vienna, Austria, for a trial on his lawsuit against the man who had sold him a defective cockatoo for the equivalent of about $15,000. In a demonstration in the hallway outside the courtroom, the bird flew “lopsided”, with the probable cause (according to the purchaser) of chronic gout.

(Honorable Mention if you can identify the classic TV show that got a lot of mileage out of that scenario.)

Ricardo West, a professional Michael Jackson impersonator (who staged “Michael Lives! The Michael Jackson Tribute Concert”) was charged in Allen Park, Michigan with 12 counts of . . . wait for it . . . . . . . . . child molestation.

Among the major league baseball players who spent time on the disabled list in 2010:
Kendry Morales (Angels), who broke his leg jumping on home plate after hitting a home run.
Brian Roberts (Orioles), who was out a week with a concussion after smacking himself in the head with his bat after striking out.
Chris Coghlan (Marlins), who needed knee surgery after giving a teammate a playful post-game shaving-cream pie.
Geoff Blum (Astros), who needed elbow surgery after straining his arm putting on his shirt.

Amount the State of California spent last year on each minor in its juvenile-detention system: $224,712

Amount the State spent on each student in the Oakland public school system: $4945

This just in from the Faux News Channel: it’s definitely a “mainstream media myth” that there is a link between matches, gasoline, and fire. “Gasoline and matches don’t start fires,” said Fox’s resident genius, Glenn Beck. “People start fires.”

Collected, edited, and upgraded by Walt Bittle – February 2011